TrueCelebz Quick Take:

Hogan's "Cardiac Arrest" was apparently just a code for what we're all thinking - he finally got tired of those awful mustaches and decided to take a permanent nap. I mean, who wouldn't want to escape the horrors of 80s fashion?

It's crazy how quickly rumors spread about Hogan's health, especially when his wife Sky was like "nope, not dead, just getting a neck procedure... and also my husband's heart is strong". I guess that's what they mean by "strong" - as in, it's still beating despite the crushing weight of Hogan's mustache.

I'm surprised Vince McMahon didn't try to revive him with some fake wrestling moves or a well-timed leg drop. After all, Hulkamania was all about running wild and getting away with some serious BS. Alas, it seems even the power of Hulkamania couldn't bring Hogan back from the great beyond.

On a more serious note, I'm sure Hogan's fans are devastated by this news. But let's be real, he was 71 - that's like, ancient in wrestling years. I mean, I've seen younger wrestlers get injured and have to retire just because they tried to do a botched dive off the top rope.